Continuing the discussion about nagging…
We left off discussing how nagging arises out of riders trying to be kind to their horse.
Every time you are inconsistent in your communication with your horse, their level of responsiveness diminishes considerably. When you have gotten into this pattern of inefficient communicating, it takes consistency to reestablish clarity. If you ask your horse to trot out, and they don’t trot right away, and you continue to cluck, squeeze, or kick – that is nagging. Usually, when they don’t respond right away, it is because they either are unclear as to the expectation, or they don’t take you seriously. Being “kind” in such a way, is actually not kind at all.
As a new mother, I am continually drawing parallels between parenting and horse training – because in my mind, the principles are truly the same. So for those who are parents, perhaps this perspective will be easier to understand. If you set clear boundaries and expectations for your child (horse) and consistently follow through, they will not question them. If you are inconsistent in your consequences, or give hollow threats, they will question. If your child is doing something that you don’t want them to do, and you just nag – i.e say no over and over, but don’t follow through – they lose respect for your words. (i.e – aids). Sometimes you follow through, and sometimes you don’t , so the child (or horse) will test to see whether you will follow through or not. They also will likely be somewhat tense or nervous because they are unsure of what sort of reaction they are going to get out of you.
Lets now look at nagging that arises through a lack of awareness. This type of nagging (whether it be in your relationship with you horse, or with a human) is due to being unable to be fully present in whatever you are doing. I often see riders who put their leg on their horse every time they sit in the posting trot. They often are trotting around the area around and around, with no particular goal. This lack of focus, clarity and intention allows the rider’s mind to wa
nder so much that she doesn’t even know what she is doing up there. “Riding” is a complex and continual sequence of aids that become fluid only with time and awareness. See: https://leadingwithintention.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/the-pbj-method-of-training/
A lot of times riders will trap their horse with continual rein contact, with out ever giving a release, simply because they are unaware. Trying to be more conscious and aware when you ride will greatly help diminish any nagging. Intentional horsemanship is the goal!
Lets sum up the solution clearly. If you do not want to nag when you ride, you must ride with intention.
#1 – Go into a ride, training session, or really any interaction with your horse with clear goals.
#2 – Before you ask something of your horse, make sure you are clear as to what you really want.
#3 – When you ask your horse to do that something, make sure you get a response. (they might not always get it right, but ignoring your request completely is unacceptable)
#4 – Ride and train with Clarity, Focus and Intention – ALWAYS
#5 – REMEMBER THE RELEASE, REMEMBER THE PROPER SEQUENCE OF AIDS
#6 – Don’t be overly permissive – this type of “kindness” leads to confusion and unclear relationships. Clear intentions, calm emotions, and defined aids create happy and soft partners – whether they be human or horse…
Leading With Intention - Equine Training 
